Mojito Magic

Basically, it all boils down to this: if I like you, I will bake you a cake for your birthday/engagement/niece's quincenera/whatever. But if I adore you, I will make you one of my four favorite cakes on the planet.

This mojito cake is one of them (for the record: nutella bread pudding, pumpkin praline trifle, and this really life-changing orange caramel cake are the other three).  It's not the simplest dessert to make--the original CakeLove recipe is three pages long-- but it is a labor of love that pays for itself four-fold in its deliciousness. 

Last weekend I got the chance to make this cakeypoo for an especially lovely woman on her thirtieth birthday. It's light, boozy, unique and a great party trick-- the only way this cake gets better is if you get to enjoy it with your favorite people.

Some points about this cake: (1) it requires dried mint, which means you have to roast up mint leaves and then pull off the leaves from the stem. This is best done when listening to Afroman's "Colt 45" (2) This icing is not for the anxiety-ridden amongst us. I have made this particular recipe with a success rate of only 50%. DO NOT make this icing unless you have time to remake it or have Xanax and a can of Betty Crocker handy (3) Each ingredient is absolutely essential. I went to the grocery store three times between the hours of midnight and 7am because I kept forgetting something. Do not substitute. Trust the cake.

CakeLove Mojito Cake with Rum Meringue Icing

Ingredients

Dry

• 2 1/4 c + 2 TBS all-purpose flour
• 1/4 c potato starch
• 1 tsp salt
• 1/4 tsp baking soda
• 1/4 tsp ground cloves
• 2 bunches fresh mint

Liquid

• 2/3 c sour cream
• 1/4 c half-and-half
• 3 TBS dark rum
• 2 tsp vanilla extract
• 1 tsp molasses
• 1 lime, zested and segmented (save zest)

Creaming

• 2 sticks unsalted butter, room temperature
• 2 1/4 c sugar
• 2 tsp lime zest
• 4 large eggs
• 2 large egg yolks (Hint: the cake requires yolk and the icing requires egg whites, so please do count your eggs before you "hatch" them...)
  

Icing

• a high-temperature candy thermometer
• 5 egg whites
• 1 1/4 c extra-fine granulated sugar, divided into 1 c and 1/4 c
• 1/4 cup cold water
• 3 TBS rum
• 3-4 sticks unsalted butter, softened to room temperature
• 2 bags frozen vegetables, preferably something like frozen peas, spinach, or corn

Cake Assembly

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Pull leaves off main stem and into folded tin foil so it resembles a box. Poke holes on top of "box" and put into oven on a cookie sheet until mint is totally dried out, about 12 minutes. Once totally dried, crumble the mint into a small bowl, removing the small veiny stems as much as possible. Whisk together the dry ingredients (no need to overwhisk--just combine) and set aside. Mix together liquid ingredients until just combined, set aside.  
 
2. Using the paddle attachment of a stand mixer or a hand mixer, cream together the butter, sugar, and lime zest on the lowest setting for 4 to 5 minutes. Add the eggs one at a time while still on the lowest speed, fully incorporating after each addition. Then add the yolks one at a time, making sure to let the first full incorporate before adding the second.
 
3. Read this step in its entirety, then proceed: add the dry and wet mixtures to the creamed mixture in 3-5 alternating installments total, BEGINNING AND ENDING WITH THE DRY MIXTURE. This should take about 60 seconds, total--no need to wait for incorporation in this step. Don't dawdle. Stop the mixer, scrape down the sides of the bowl to get all that pesky batter off that sides that bowl and then restart mixer to medium speed for 15 to 20 seconds. Resist the urge to overbeat--20 seconds is all you need.
 
4. Lightly grease two 9-inch-round cake pans--I also like to line the bottom of each pan with parchment paper. Split the batter between the pans and even out the top with a spatula. 

5. Bake for approximately 30 minutes, or until the center is set. A few notes-- this cake is dense--do not rotate until there is some stability in the cake. Also, the sides will burn fairly quickly, so add any additional time in two minute increments and keep a close eye. 

6. Remove the cakes from the oven let cool to room temperature on a wire rack--seriously, let the cake cool ENTIRELY or it will break everywhere. Not cute.

Icing Assembly 
1. Cut the butter into tablespoon sized pieces and set aside.

2. With the wire whisk attachment on a standing mixer, whip the egg whites at high speed until soft peaks form. Add 1/4 cup sugar, then continue whipping until stiff peaks form. If you do not know the difference between soft and stiff peaks--google, practice, and revisit this recipe at a later date.

3. Measure 1 cup sugar and the water into a 1-quart, heavy-bottomed saucepan.  Gently stir with the candy thermometer to combine.  With the thermometer in the pan and a lid partially covering the pot, heat the mixture over medium-high heat until it reaches 245 degrees. Put your frozen vegetables at the base of your mixer bowl, touching as much of the bowl as possible.

4. THIS IS WHERE IT GETS TRICKY--better to picture yourself a nuclear physicist and proceed with extreme caution from here on out. Once the syrup has reached 245 degrees, turn the mixer back onto high and s-l-o-w-l-y pour the syrup into the meringue. After 1 or 2 minutes reduce the mixer speed to medium for 3 or 4 minutes, or until the meringue is cooled--if the meringue is not cooled after this time, just keep mixing until it is at room temp. (This is why the frozen veggies are helpful--if the egg whites stay hot too long the proteins don't manage the fat of the butter in the same way and the whole thing falls apart.)

5. Add the butter 1 tablespoon at a time, waiting until each tablespoon is incorporated before adding another. Sometime around stick 2, it will look like the icing will never come together--have heart, as things start to look up around stick three. I like to stop at 3.5 sticks, but once the frosting comes together take a taste and see what you think.  

6. When you have a recognizable, spreadable icing, add the rum and increase the mixer speed to high for 1 to 2 minutes, or until the butter is fully incorporated.   

7. Spread as you like on your cooled cake. Garnish with lime zest. Refrigerate until 20 minutes before serving. Enjoy!

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Paczki-lala

So, let's talk about my grandma. To borrow a phrase from the Queen Bee herself, she is just "the nuts." An avid animal lover and gardener by day, she takes the Northeastern Pennsylvania pony races by storm at night.  She has, on occasion, been known to refer to something lovely, impressive, or silly as "tchotchy-la-la." To this day, the Kef Family compliments one another as such ("Well, aren't you just a tchotchy-la-la?"). No one said we were normal.

In addition to the unending affection of her grandchildren, daughers, and beloved Golden Doodle, she has captured the heart of one of the most amazing humans alive, BFKef.  These two love each other in a way that makes one thing abundantly clear: I've become superfluous.

A few Mardi Gras seasons ago, at the first meeting of this dangerous duo, GrandmaKef introduced BFKef and I to an amazing thing called the paczki (pronounced ponchki).  Apparently, these are a grand tradition for Mardi Gras among the Polish diaspora, so much so that Fat Tuesday is known as "Paczki Day" in large parts of the Midwest.  When GrandmaKef introduced BFKef to these donut-like delicacies, you can bet BFKef would have thrown his beads all over Northeastern Pennsylvania for another dozen... or two.
 

Every so often, I make something and think to myself, "Holy Moly, Chef Kef, I can't believe you made this." This is absolutely one of those times. Like most bread-based recipes, this one is time-intensive but absolutely not skill-intensive (As proof: I blew through Season 2 of Downton Abbey while I cooked these, which I will ABSOLUTELY be writing about at another time). Turns out fast food has been on to something this whole time and deep-frying is actually quite an easy process. I used a recipe from Serious Eats and followed it to a 'T' without problem.

My first thought when I saw the finished result? Tchotchy-la-la. 

Paczki Fit For a Polish Prince*

Ingredients 

• 2 c whole milk
• 4 1/2 tsp instant yeast (2 Fleishmann's envelopes)
• 1/2 c PLUS 1 TBS sugar
• 5 c all-purpose flour
• 4 egg yolks PLUS one whole egg
• 1 tsp salt
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 1/4 c unsalted butter, melted and cooled
• A whole lot of canola oil, for frying (you will need at least enough to fill a wide, deep pot up to 2 inches)
• 1 1/2 c berry jelly--try and find one that is smooth and without too many chunks to make filling easier
• 1 c powdered sugar, for dusting

Assembly 
1. In a small saucepan heat milk to between 110 an 115°F. Pour warmed milk into a large bowl or the bowl of a stand mixer. Dissolve yeast in milk. Add one Tablespoon sugar and two cups of flour. Mix until consistency of pancake batter then cover with plastic wrap and place in a warm spot to allow yeast to activate. Let rest for 30 minutes or until starter is very bubbly. 

2. In a medium bowl combine egg and yolks. Whisk until light and frothy, about 4 minutes. Whisk in 1/2 cup sugar, salt and vanilla.

3. Slowly stir cooled melted butter into yeast starter until combined. Then slowly incorporate egg mixture until just combined. Fit mixer with dough hook. Stir in flour, working 1/2 a cup in at a time until a soft dough comes together. Note: this dough is very sticky.

4. Spray a large bowl with cooking spray and transfer dough to bowl. Cover tightly with plastic wrap and set in a warm place to rise until double in size. About an hour.

5. Turn out dough on a very generously floured surface. Dust surface of dough with flour then punch down dough to about half an inch high. Using anything hard and round (I used an empty tomato sauce jar, a wine glass would also work), cut out doughnuts. Carefully transfer doughnut rounds to parchment lined baking sheets. Cover sheets with a clean dish towel and set in a warm place to rise until doubled in size, about 30 minutes.

6. Pour canola oil into a large dutch oven to a depth of 2 inches. Heat oil to 360°F. Once oil reaches the proper temperature use a heat resistant spatula or shallow strainer to carefully drop doughnuts in, one at a time, cooking a maximum of 3 at once. Cook doughnuts until a warm, deep brown on one side, then using heat resistance tongs turn the doughnut and cook the other side until it reaches the same degree of doneness. Remove from oil letting any excess oil drain off then transfer to a wire rack for cooling. Test your first doughnut to make sure that the insides are completely cooked, if not adjust your cooking time accordingly. Let doughnut cool.

7. Prepare a wide and shallow bowl with powdered sugar. Fill your pastry bag with your favorite preserves and fit the bag with a filling tip. Pipe filling into pączki then dip each side in powdered sugar until covered. (Chef Kefi, RN Editor's Note: the filling was the messiest part for me--I ended up filling from the top to make this a big easier, but separate one or two paczkis for practice specimen!)

*A story for another time.

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Solid Gold Sh!t

Dear Friends--

As you may have heard, I'm on the night shift for awhile.  I originally intended for it to be six weeks of cooking fun, but mostly I have been keeping up with the Kardashians and the other trashy television stars who show up after 2 am. I have gotten off the couch long enough to get a couple new recipes in the works, but nothing's been perfected yet except my memorization of the new Insanity infomercial in its entirety.

In the meantime, I've been gorging myself on what I call "Solid Gold Sh!t" (bonus points if you catch the Love Actually reference).  This is the foodgroup that consists of a whole bunch of semi- to very healthy ingredients put together in such proportions, quantities, or iterations that they lose most semblance of nutrition altogether.  Put simply: Solid Gold Sh!t is junk food that sounds healthy but probably isn't.

Some favorites:

SO Delicious makes gluten-free, no-sugar-added ice cream. The chocolate flavor is by far the best, though the mint chip ain't bad either.  The state of Virginia may outlaw "pinting and driving" soon, as I've been known to try and brave traffic while housing one of these puppies!

Probably my favorite treat on the planet right now, Coco-Roons have the texture of a delicious cookie and the sweetness of a real lemon pie. Sadly, these guys run about $8.99/package, and nursing just can't support the habit all that often... but a girl can dream.

These chips right HERE taste like corn chips, but the first ingredient is PEAS! I had every intention of making a superbowl taco dip with these but then got really lazy and just ate the whole bag. These guys are also BFKef approved, so you know they taste like the real thing.

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Sweet 'n' Salty Almond Butter Cups

In the words of my dear friend GingerKef, "Wowowowowowowowowowow!" 

I've been eyeing all the iterations of homemade Reese's cups out there on the interwebs, but none have been exactly sugar-free--the recipes I've seen have called for some kind sugar for either the nut butter or the chocolate shell. That ends now.

I played around with these puppies last night, and was amazed to find how easy they really are.  BF Kef was HUGE fan and promptly enjoyed two of these fancy little treats. They're a little sweet, a little salty, and a delicious replacement for any Reese's lover.

You'll have lots of almond butter left over--keep it in a container at room temp and enjoy it on apples, bananas, toast, and everything else on which almond butter is awesome.


Ingredients

• 2 c slivered almonds
• 2 c unsweetened shredded coconut
• 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
• 1/4-1/2 tsp salt
• 10oz bag of unsweetened carob chip (or dark chocolate over 50% if you prefer)

Assembly
1. Preheat oven to 350. Put an ungreased cupcake tin in the freezer.
2. Spread almonds out on a rimmed baking pan. Roast in oven for 10 minutes, until lightly browned.
3. While almonds roast, put coconut and in a food processor. Blend until buttery, which will take about 10 minutes. About half way through, add the vanilla extract to keep the mixer moving.
4. Once roasted, let almonds cool for 2-3 minutes, then add the nuts, 1/4 c of the carob chips and salt to the coconut/vanilla mix in food processor. Blend until the mixture resembles a loose nut butter. Check for taste, and add another 1/4 c of carob chips if you feel so inclined. Set aside.
5. Heat a deep pot of water to a low boil. Remove cupcake tin from freeze. Place remaining carob chips in a handheld pot small enough to hold over the boiling water.  Stirring very frequently, place the small pot over the hot water (but try to keep bottom from touching water) and allow carob to melt. This will take 3-5 minutes. 
6. Using a spatula, divide the carob between each cupcake hole--each one should get enough to cover the bottom completely. Move quickly so the carob does not re-harden (if it starts to get firm again, put back over the boiling water for a few seconds and stir). It will not be pretty. Then, use the back of a metal spoon to smooth out the melted carob and push some up the sides of the tin. Again--it will not be pretty, just do what you can.
7. Add about 1 TBS of almond butter to each cupcake holder and smooth. We liked these without a top layer of carob--but if you have any left over, go ahead and pour it over the almond butter to make a final layer of "chocolate." Put cupcake tin back in freezer for 15-30 minutes. Once frozen, remove from cupcake forms and let come to room temperature before enjoying.

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Paulatimi's Fabulous Fudge

My mother has been known to bake dozens of Christmas cookies each year.  No--not a few dozen chocolate chip cookies... dozens of KINDS of cookies. Monster cookies, peanut butter surprise cookies, oatmeal raisin, white-chocolate cranberry, Linzer, sugar, gingerbread... the list goes on.

Paula's famous party platter--no one goes home with one!
Fudge is those tan squares with red/green M&Ms.

But none are as good as her famous no-bake M&M fudge. This is definitively NOT sugar free-- in fact, it falls into the same sickly sweet category as my other favorite seasonal treats (candy corn and Peeps--don't judge me), but I fall for it everytime. My advice? Cut small and make sure you have reinforcements to help you eat!

Ingredients

• 2 1/2 cups of sugar
• 3/4 cup butter 2/3 cup (5 1/3 oz) evaporated milk
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 1/2 cups creamy peanut butter
• 1 jar (7oz) marshallow fluff
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 1 1/2 cups m&m's plain (use colors for an easy themed dessert--MamaKef uses red and green at Christmas, I use team colors for the Super Bowl, etc)

Assembly

1. Combine sugar, butter, milk, and salt in heavy 3 qt sausepan; bring to full rolling boil over high heat, STIRRING CONSTANTLY with a wooden spoon.  Continue boiling over med heat 5 min stirring constantly. 2. Remove from heat; stir in peanut butter until melted.
3. Add marshmallow fluff; mix until blended. Fold in M&Ms; immediately spread into greased 13 x9 inch baking pan.
4. Cool at room temperature; cut into squares.
Makes one 13x9 inch pan of fudge (about 3 lbs).

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Chocolate Chestnut Pie

Chestnuts and figgy pudding are two of a kind. Everyone sings about them, but no one actually eats them. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride.

Luckily for chestnuts, Thanksgiving at the Kef Household lets them shine once a year--MamaKef has always loved adding chestnuts to her stuffing (though I'm sad to report I have yet to see her roast them over an open fire).  This year, we also threw some chestnuts over our roasted sweet potatoes to a spectacular result.  And this got the Kefwheels turning...

What else can we do with these creamy, delicious treats?

What we have today is a subtle, rich pie that ups the ante and will ensure that chestnuts get more respect than just a passing Carol reference.  A more sophisticated version of a diner chocolate mousse pie, it's sure to please anyone who makes it to your holiday buffet.  It is most definitely not a traditional pie--but I'll bet it comes back year after year, anyway.

Sorry, figgy pudding-- maybe someone will actually eat you next year.

I adapted this recipe, whose pictures are nicer.

Ingredients

     --1 can (15 oz) chestnut puree

     --1 bag (9 oz) unsweetened carob chips (if you want to use chocolate, use dark)

     --1 and 3/4 sticks of butter (room temperature), cut into small pieces 

     -- 2 TBS whiskey, cognac, or dark rum
-------------
 --1 c almond meal
--1/2 c coconut flour
--1/2 c carob powder (or cocoa powder)
-- 1 tsp baking soda
-- 2 eggs, beaten
-- 1/8 c honey or maple syrup (more or less, to taste?
-- 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
-- 3 TBS butter, cu into small pieces and softened to room temp 
--OR baked pie crust of choice (Try this pistachio crust)

Assembly
1. For the crust: if you're using your own crust, assemble and bake as directed. Otherwise, preheat oven to 325.  For the sugar-free, gluten-free cookie crust, combine both flours, carob/cocoa powder, and baking soda. Mix well. Add the wet ingredients except the butter and mix until combined. Then add the butter in small pieces, kneading with your fingers until you have a cohesive dough.

2. Press the dough into a buttered pie pan to form the crust. If you don't need all of the dough, use the extra to make cookies- you can use that for a topping. Use a fork to poke holes all over the crust and bake for 9-10 minutes, or until middle is set. Do not overcook- the dough is very dark so it will be hard to tell that it's burnt! Remove from oven and let cool completely.

3. To make the filling, fill a large sauce pan 2/3 full with water and heat over med-high.  Put the carob chips in a small metal bowl or smaller pot and hold over the heated water (but don't let bottom touch water or chips will burn).  Stir constantly to spread heat evenly.  

4. Once melted,  remove from heat and mix in butter, a piece or two at a time, so that it melts into the mixture.

5. Add chestnut puree and mix until combined.  Add vanilla and liquor. Taste mixture and if desired, add more vanilla to sweeten.

6. Pour mixture into pre-made crust and cool in fridge for at least 4 hours (overnight if you have the time).  Use a spatula to even out the top (which I clearly did not do in the above picture).

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Maple Apple Frangipane

The windows are open, autumnal sunshine is pouring into my kitchen, and the sound of the Howard Homecoming is echoing down the block--the perfect day to put freshly-picked apples to use!

In the beginning of September, I messed around with this thing called frangipane and the results were underwhelming.  I swore not to be outdone by the French and their delicacies (NB: yes, the word "frangipane" is clearly Italian, but Wikipedia tells me it used to be "franchipane," which is apparently French... so I can still blame the fussiness of this almond filling on the French! Sorry, Sarkozypoo!) and I have finally circled back around to conquer this beast.

And conquer it I have.

Let's back up. Earlier this month, I met CousinKef and BabyKef for some fun fall activities that resulted in about 20 lbs of apples sitting in my kitchen waiting to be transformed into autumnal treats.

Why, yes, that IS what 19.3 lbs of apples look like!

Flash forward about two weeks, and we're in spinning class on a beautiful Saturday morning (why I didn't just ride my damn bike in this gorgeous weather is neither here nor there).  The way-too-peppy-for-8am instructor is talking some mess about how good the burn feels when it hits me: I am going to apple-ize the frangi-whatever and it is going to be delicious.

The result was amazing! This may be the creation I am most proud of since I made those out-of-this-word pork chops. There are three components, but none is particularly time consuming. I simplified the process by using a pre-mixed gluten-free pie crust (it is not a pie crust mix, per se, as you still have to add several ingredients--it just pre-combines all the weird flours you have to buy for $8.99/cup into one $3.69 mix and is enough for two pies. Awesome.)

I came, I saw, I frangipaned.  You're welcome.

Apple Frangipane With Maple Glaze
Ingredients

• Pie crust of your choice. I used the Glutino Gluten-Free Pantry Perfect Pie Crust Mix (which requires you to add baking powder, egg, butter, shortening, water, and vinegar). You can do whatever you'd like).
  ---
• 2 c almond flour/meal
• 2 TBS liquor of choice--dark rum or cognac would be good, I used Godiva chocolate liquor because THAT is what your girl keeps around for emergencies, apparently
• 1 stick of butter, cold and cut into TBS portions
• zest of 1 lemon
• juice of 1/2 lemon
• 1/3-1/2c honey
  ---
• 1 large or 2 small sweet apples, peeled and sliced thinly
• 2 TBS butter, melted
• 6 TBS maple syrup (the 100% real stuff--please do not let me find you using IHOP brand or some crap like that.)
• 1 tsp cinnamon
  
  

Assembly  
1. Preheat oven to 425. Whatever pie crust you are using should be cold, so if you made it yourself, put it in a pie or tart pan and let chill in freezer. Once it has chilled for about 20 minutes, poke fork holes all over it and cover the tips with either a wreath of tin foil or a pie-crust shield. Cook until crust is just turning golden brown, which will depend on the crust but will probably take about 12-15 minutes. Set aside to cool. Reduce oven heat to 375.
2. Combine almond flour, liquor, lemon zest, lemon juice, and honey (start with 1/3 c honey and proceed to step 3. If at the end of step 3 the frangipane is not sweet enough for you, add honey and mix until you like the taste.)  A food processor or blender would be easiest, but if you do not have one then stirring vigorously will be just fine. 
3. Cut in the butter one TBS at a time until a thick, gooey paste has formed--again, I did this in my food processor and it took about 1 minute, but you can do it the old-fashioned way with a pastry blender or potato masher. (If you want to add more honey, now is the time.) Set aside.
4. To make the glaze, mix together melted butter, maple syrup, and cinnamon. Put thinly-sliced apples in a bowl and toss with maple glaze. 
5. Place the frangipane (almond mix) in the cooled pie crust and level off with a rubber spatula.  Arrange soaked apple slices however you would like on top in a single layer. Pour remaining maple glaze evenly over the tart. You will probably have a few gooey apple slices left over--eat them!
6. Cook tart until center is firm to touch, it took my little oven about 40 minutes--just start checking around 30 minutes or so. Let cool, enjoy! For added sweetness, whip up a half batch of maple glaze and drizzle a few drops on pieces immediately before serving.

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Berry Sangria

Once upon a time, when it was fall, someone's birthday, and someone's turn to go study abroad, we made sangria in 25 liter batches. Yes, you read that correctly.

These days, birthdays are not the excuse for debauchery they once were (and my liver thanks you for that, Lord!), but they still make an excellent occasion for some sangria. In general, I find restaurant-made sangria too sweet (and if you're drinking the pre-made Sutter Home stuff, please check yo'self) so I endeavored to make my own with all the flavor, but not so much sweetness. Enjoy!

Grown Up Berry Sangria Fit for a Birthday (but not a Rubbermaid Vat)

Ingredients

• 750 mL berry vodka (I used Ciroc)
• 1 bottle Sweet Red wine (I used Barefoot--it does not need to be a medal winner)
• 1 juggo red wine (don't pretend not to know EXACTLY what size bottle I'm describing) of a sweetish variety (shiraz is easy found and affordable)
• 1 pint of strawberries, sliced thin
• teensy bit of honey 
• 1/8 cup water

Assembly
1. Put sliced strawberries in a heavy-bottomed sauce pan and drizzle (seriously, people--not a lot) honey over. Let sit in the pan (no heat yet) if you have time for about 15 minutes--apparently sugar brings out the juices and flavor of berries.
2. Add the water and bring to a simmer. Stir occasionally and let this simmer for 12-15 minutes, until berries take on a stewy consistency. Remove from heat, let cool.
3. With a bowl under a strainer, separate what solid fruit is left from the juice--yes, some of it looks like goop. That is right.
4. Put the solid parts of your berry stew (even the goopity-goop) in the bottom of your containers. Mix together your berry juice, vodka, and wine, and add to the berry stew in the containers. Chill and enjoy!

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Pumpkin Bread Two Ways

MamaKef makes just about the most delicious pumpkin bread on earth (and it's my Aunt Carole's recipe, so we're really talking about a family affair here). Strangely, I have no picture of it, despite knowing that I have photographed it at every Thanksgiving and Christmas since 1999.

What I do have a picture of, however, is the imitation version I made for my first shift EVER as an RN (yowza!).  You already KNOW this gluten-free sugar-free pumpkin bar is delicious, because no sane person would ever bring a sub-par treat into the nurse's station of a very busy unit without being 100% positive that it would be gobbled up and that she would have 15 new friends and colleagues who want to make her transition to nursing easier... right?

Right. So, please enjoy both the gf/sf version AND the full o' flour version--they're both delicious and easy-peasey recipes that are proven crowd pleasers (just ask Nurse Ratchet!).

 Gluten-Free, Sugar-Free Yumcito Pumpkin Bars
Ingredients
--3/4 c pumpkin puree
--3/4 c almond butter (you could prob use any nut butter--just make sure it does not have sugar in it if what you want is a sugar free dessert!)
--1/2 c honey 
--3 eggs
--2 tsp cinnamon
--1 tsp ground ginger
--1/2 tsp nutmeg
--1/2 tsp ground cloves
--2 tsp vanilla extract
--1 tsp baking soda
--1/2 tsp salt 

Assembly 
1. Preheat oven to 350. Grease your pan--I used a 9-inch shallow disposable tin for easy transport--but a cake round, cupcake tin, or casserole dish would work, too, as long as you keep them thin. I would say NOT to use a loaf pan because I do not think the baking soda will do enough to make the batter rise.
2. Combine all the ingredients in a bowl and mix well.
3. Pour into pan. Bake for about 22 minutes, or until edges are brown and center is set. (In my little oven the edges looked burnt before the center set, but those turned out to be the best pieces!)

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KefFamily's Favorite Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Bread

Ta Da!

Ingredients

• 1 cup salad oil
• 2/3 cup water
• 1 16-oz can Libby's pumpkin
• 2 eggs
  --
• 3 cups sugar
  
• 3 1/2 cups flour
•  1 1/2 tsp  cinnamon
• 1 1/2 tsp nutmeg
  1 1/2 tsp salt
• 2 tsp baking soda
• 12 oz bag choc chips

Assembly 
1. Preheat oven to 350. Grease two loaf pans well (these can also be made as muffins if that suits your fancy).

2. Mix the wet ingredients together.

3. Add in the dry ingredients - except the choc chips.

4. After everything is well blended, stir in the chocolate chips.

5. Pour into 2 well greased loaf pans and bake for approximately 1 hour and 10 minutes (I always start checking at about 45 minutes but it really does take this long).

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A Birthday Cake

So, there I was. The morning of my twenty-seventh birthday and the gluten-free, sugar-free, four-layer devil's food cake I had made myself had just slid right off the cake plate and now resembled a Leaning Tower of Sugar-Free Piza. I know-- happens to EVERYONE.

Let's back up a bit. I had spent quite a few weeks researching and thinking about the perfect birthday cake for someone of my palate (which is to say, I spent all my waking moments looking for a cake was that "healthy" but tasted decidedly UNhealthy).  I tinkered about in the kitchen (ok fine, I made and ate entire batches of test cupcakes) and had finally found the perfect recipe. Then I just happened to stumble upon some gf/sf marshmallow fluff, and got the idea to layer the cake and throw some strawberry jam in there. What could go wrong?

Well. Turns out that when your "fluff" is made of brown-rice syrup, the consistency is less sticky and more slippery. So if you think you can make a four layer cake, add a jam to it, and get it in the fridge to set before the whole thing falls apart, you are wrong. Dead wrong.

So like I was saying--my masterpiece cake had just turned to some kind of rice syrup mess and my party was only a few hours away.  My first instinct was to cry and cancel the party, but then inspiration struck--TRIFLE! If you don't know, a trifle is a dessert layered in a round high glass dish, and usually alternates some kind of creamy sauce, a cake, and a fruit jam... basically, a ruined gluten-free, sugar-free cake dripping in "fluff" and strawberry jam. So I scraped that puppy right off the plate and into my handy-dandy trifle dish... et voila! I had a birthday cake.

 

This guy really was as good as I had hoped--the cake is full of chocolatey flavor and texture is as close to regular cake as I have ever baked. The "fluff" was great as a layering/moistening tool (once I got it in the dish, that is), but it is the one substance in the universe actually SWEETER than marshmallow fluff, so use carefully! I used the Babycakes German Chocolate Cake recipe as a guide for proportions.

A Devil's Food Trifle Worth Making Twice

BabyKef and le trifle

Ingredients
--3 c rice flour (I used brown)
--3/4 c potato starch
--3/4 c +1/3 c unsweetened cocoa powder
--1.5 TBS + 3/4 TBS baking powder
--3/4 tsp baking soda
--1.5 tsp salt
--1.5 c + 3/4 c agave nectar
--1.5 c coconut oil, melted
--1.5 c unsweetened applesauce
--1/3 c vanilla extract
--3/4 c hot water
--1 egg
--marshmallow fluff for layering (I used a whopping 2 cans of this stuff)
--your choice of strawberry jam (I made my own by stewing strawberries and honey--it's super easy, just google or buy)

Assembly
1. Preheat oven to 325. Grease two cake rounds (mine were 8-inch).
2.  Whisk together flour, potato starch, cocoa, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.  Add the agave, coconut oil, applesauce, and vanilla and mix well.  Add hot water and mix until fully incorporated, batter will be grainy.  Add egg, mix again.
3. Divide batter between the two pans. Bake for about 30 minutes, rotating once. The cake is very dense, so be sure to perform toothpick check. Once the toothpick comes out clean, let cakes cool completely (about 45 minutes). Then, cut horizontally through both cakes to create four layers.
4. Pour a layer of jam on the bottom of your trifle dish--it shouldn't be gobs and gobs, but it should be generous. Put one layer of cake down, breaking it if you need to--just get it into oneish layer. Put a big ol' dollop of fluff, then some more jam. Repeat again, ending with cake on top.

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One Cake, Two Ways

This Monday is too beautiful for me to be inside blogging--so Ima get right to it: today, we're working with two versions of a hearty strawberry cake with buttercream icing.  One is full of sugar, flour, and deliciousness; the other is for those interested in a sugar-free, gluten-free, almost-paleo treat.  I will leave you to guess which is which:

So--why two cakes? Earlier this summer, I was honored to bake the cake for my Aunt Tina's wedding, and though I'm sure everyone would have loved knowing their dessert qualified as "clean eating," we decided to go the traditional flour-sugar-butter route.  My aunt and her now-husband, Larry, requested a strawberry cake with vanilla buttercream icing, and we went through several renditions before landing on this one, which turned out to be quite a keeper.  A HUGE THANK YOU to my dear friend KefiKathleen, who offered up her childhood home and adult know-how to ensure that this mama-jamma made it from inspiration to fruition.

A few weeks later (still hung over from all the gluten-filled taste tests), I decided to see if I could make a healthier version of the nuptial confection. So I spent my morning puttering about in the kitchen, and came up with the below, which is not as "pow! that's strawberry!" as the wedding cake was, but it is a good just-sweet-enough cake that would be great for a brunch. 

Full-o-flour Strawberry Cake
Ingredients (makes two 8-inch cake layers)

• 3 c flour
• 2 c sugar
• 3 tsp baking powder
• 3/4 c vegetable oil
• 1 1/2 c pureed strawberries
• 1 tsp pure vanilla extract
• 1 tsp lemon zest
• 4 large eggs
• whatever buttercream icing you like best, homemade or store-bought

Assembly 
1. Preheat oven to 325. In a standing mixer, combine in this order the oil, sugar, eggs (one at a time), extract, and zest. Mix on low until completely mixed.
2. Combine flour and baking powder in a separate bowl. Prepare strawberry puree and have ready.
3. With the mixer on low, alternate adding the flour mixture and then the strawberry puree to the wet ingredients.  Begin by gradually adding about 1/2 the flour, then 1/3 of the strawberries and repeat until you have combined everything, finishing with the puree (basically: flour twice, strawberry puree three times).
4. Pour into two greased eight-inch cake rounds.  Start checking at 25 minutes--this is a dense batter, so it will almost definitely take 35-40 minutes to be completely done. They're done when you can stick a toothpick into the center and it comes out clean.
5. After cakes are removed from oven and cooled, ice 'em and eat 'em!
 
Gluten-free, Sugar-Free, Strawberry Breakfast Cake
Ingredients

• 1 1/2 c almond flour
• 1/4 c corn starch
• 2.5 tsp baking powder
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 1 TBS vanilla extract
• 1/2 stick butter, melted
• 3 TBS honey
• 1/4 cup coconut flour (or 1/2 c shredded coconut)
• 4 eggs, beaten
• 1 cup of berries, cut small
• 1/2- 1 c milk
  ---
• 1/2 c coconut oil (NOT melted)
• 1/4-1/3 c honey
• 3 TBS lemon juice

Assembly
1. Preheat oven to 325. Combine dry ingredients in a medium bowl.
2. Add wet ingredients--EXCEPT BERRIES AND MILK-- in whatever order you'd like. Mix until well combined.
3. Add the berries and mix in gently but completely.
4. Add milk, starting with 1/2 c and adding more if you need it, until you get to "cake batter" consistency. It should be moist and liquidy but not runny.
5. Pour into one greased 9-inch cake round. Bake for 30 minutes, or until inserted toothpick comes out clean.
6. While the cakes are cooling, beat coconut oil, honey, and lemon juice together with an electric mixer.  Apply the icing IMMEDIATELY before serving-- this stuff will melt faster than you can say "holy sugar-free glaze."

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