Can't-Believe-It's-Not-Take-Out Shrimp Fried "Rice"

There's no run-up to this one: last night I made the most delicious imitation ever-- shrimp fried "rice" that uses my favorite culinary chameleon, cauliflower, instead of rice. Don't be intimidated by the long ingredient list-- this dish is actually quite easy and would be great for a cozy dinner party on an ugly winter night. Enjoy!

Thanks to Tastespotting for bringing me this recipe

If you have two frying pans, you'll need both. If not, just make the cauliflower and then the vegetables.
Ingredients 
--1/4 c water 

--3 TBS fresh lime juice (to taste)

--2 TBS green curry paste (international aisle)

--1 TBS + 1 tsp honey or agave

--1/2 tsp apple cider vinegar

---

--3 c cauliflower, grated (about 1 large head)
--2-3 TBS coconut oil (or whatever oil you like)
--1 c carrots, diced
--1 c onion, diced
--3-5 garlic cloves, minced
--1 c shrimp, chopped  
--2 large eggs, beaten lightly 
--1/4 cup spring onions, chopped 
--1/4 cilantro, chopped

Assembly
1. Grate the cauliflower, using a hand grater if at all possible (even I did not use the food processor this time!). Keep in a separate bowl.
2. Mince and dice and chop all the the other ingredients (carrots, onions, garlic, shrimp, spring onions, and cilantro).  Keep each separate.
3. In one pan, heat 1 TBS oil over medium heat.  Add the cauliflower, spreading out in as thin a layer as possible.  Cook for at least five minutes, or until it begins to brown.
4. In the other pan, heat 2 TBS oil.  Add onions and cook until fragrant and translucent, 2-3 minutes.  Then, add the garlic and carrots. Cook over med-high heat, until carrots are soft (5-7 minutes).
5. While the vegetables are cooking, mix together all the sauce ingredients. Now you have a delicious sauce.
6. Back to the cauliflower--once you have a good portion of browned "rice," make a well in the middle of the cauliflower. Add eggs and toss around, until the rice becomes light and fluffy and egg is cooked. Keep warm over low heat, stirring occasionally.
7. Once the carrots are softened, add the shrimp and cook until done all the way through.
8. Add the cauliflower to the vegetables and toss evenly. Garnish with cilantro and spring onions.
9. Separate into servings and use sauce evenly among the plates.

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A Very Kefi Christmas

"It is a miracle if you can find true friends, and it is a miracle if you have enough food to eat, and it is a miracle if you get to spend your days and evenings doing whatever it is you like to do, and the holiday season—like all the other seasons—is a good time not only to tell stories of miracles, but to think about the miracles in your own life, and to be grateful for them." —Lemony Snicket








There are many things that have afforded me great success in this world-- I'm a white person from the US who went to college and is employed.  To 99.99% of the rest of the world, I wasn't just born on third--I came onto Earth an inch from home plate.

Few things have made me feel as privileged as this past weekend, when my family got together to celebrate a pre-Christmas Extravaganza with me before I headed back to DC to work both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.  It was an amazing 36-hour love fest that featured all of the people I hold dearest, from the family with which I was born to the mish-mash of folks I have chosen over the years to count among my people.  

The Kefis have always believed in a big, fat, decorative Christmas, but our winter holidays have not always been as movie-esque as this one was-- those years that began when the oldest of my siblings became a teenager and ended when the youngest of us left adolescence behind brought as much angst and posturing around the holidays for us as they did any other family.  We worked hard for our practically-perfect pre-Christmas, and it made me think about how wonderfully lucky we are if, as adults, we can move past the family squabbles about presents and table turf that our complicated world increasingly encourages, and remember how truly magic Christmas can be, if only we bring to the table with us best wishes for each other and a healthy sense of humor about ourselves (making Christmas a champagne-only event doesn't hurt, either).

It is, of course, more than happy circumstance that my family gets to enjoy holidays like these at a time when so many families are splintered by the demands of our world.  In some other post at some other time, I will wax and wane on how closely linked happiness is to privilege.  But, for now, let me say without hope or agenda--just because it's Christmas, and at Christmas you tell the truth--to me, we are perfect.  

 

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"There's No One I'd Like To Have Dinner With"

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Occupy the Grocery Store: Slow Cooker Mustard Brussels Sprouts

Last week I did something crazy--I met up with some friends the night before I had to work and stayed out until 10:30 PM, which is WAY past bedtime. The resulting "Nurses Gone Wild" video should be released in time for Christmas delivery.

But seriously--it was getting late and I had nothing to eat for lunch during the 12.5 hour shift the next day. Not wanting to brave the hospital cafeteria, I peered into my refrigerator and came up with... a bag of brussels sprouts.

Without time to DO anything with said brussels sprouts (btw: did everyone else know that it's brusselS sprouts, not bussel sprouts?)--a quick google search popped up with a very short slow-cooker recipe for mustard sprouts.  If ever a recipe towed the line between absolutely delightful and dreadfully terrible, this was it  Three minutes, six ingredients, and a few too-short hours of sleep later, I woke up to the most delicious smell in my kitchen and a yummy lunch that earned the envy of most of the break room.

Don't like the lighting? You wake up at 515 am and see
how much natural light your kitchen gets. 

Slow Cooker Mustard Brussels Sprouts

Ingredients

• 1 lb brussel sprouts (1 16oz bag), washed
• 3 TBS oil
• 1 TBS dijon mustard (some mustards have sugar in them--check ingredients if you care)
• 1/2 tsp black pepper
• 1/4 tsp kosher salt
• 1/4 cup water
• 1 washed sweet potato, skin still on (optional--I just need more to eat!)

Assembly
1. Wash the sprouts. Chop off the small stem at the bottom, and then halve them.
2. Throw everything in the slow cooker.
3. Heat on low overnight. The ones that are right against the walls will get a little crispy, and that is great.
4. If you used a sweet potato, it will be so soft you can just mash it up and use as a base for the dish.

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Water No Get Enemy

Yasiin Bey (TAFKA Mos Def) does Fela.

If this doesn't get your weekend going, nothing will.

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Spanakopita, Deconstructed

I've made no secret about it: spanakopita, practically the national dish of Greece, is no favorite of mine.  This indifference is, in large part, owed to the strong contrarian spirit that dominates at least two-thirds of my opinions ("Oh, you think puppies are cute? Let me tell you why I find that to be misguided...")-- but mostly it's just because I'd rather be eating my Aunt Lena's eggplant pie.  Why eat a spinach/lemon/feta concoction when you could be sinking your teeth into an amazing amalgamation of eggplant, tomato, and onion? I rest my case.

But, alas. Winter is coming and the days of eggplant for $0.99/lb (thank you New Jersey, third-largest eggplant producer in the world) are over. Way over. Seems the only things under $2.49/lb these days are greens. Mustard greens, spinach greens, beet greens. Spinach. Arugula. Kale. It's a slow boat ride back to berry season-- but at least we'll be full of iron.

So what's a good Greek girl to do? Break down and deal with the hand nature deals the Northeast or spend $86/week on groceries? With my hand forced, I turned to spinach.

I came up with this take on creamed spinach--a cornucopia of uber-Greekness. Olive oil, spinach, dill, creamy yogurt... it's almost enough to make me forget about that eggplant pie.

Almost.

Deconstructed Spanakopita, or: "Creamed" Spinach

Pay no attention to the pre-made salmon patty on the left.

Ingredients

•  9 oz spinach, rinsed and dried
• 1 medium-large bunch of kale, rinsed, dried, and shredded from the thick center vein
• 1 bunch dill, bottoms cut off and chopped into thirds
• 1 large onion, chopped roughly
• 4 garlic cloves, chopped roughly
• 2 tsp oregano
• 2 TBS olive oil 
• 7 oz Greek yogurt (Fage is best, but you do you)

Assembly  
**I made this with my food processor--if you don't have one, just finely mince the onions/garlic and skip the shredding of the greens. It won't have the same texture but the option's there.**

 1. Puree the onion and garlic together in food processor. Set aside.

2. Throw the kale in a big, deep pot. If you have room, throw the spinach in there too--otherwise, cook separately.  To cook, add a splash of water and cover the pot, heating over med-high heat.  After 2-3 minutes, open the pot and stir thoroughly to distribute the heat. Cook for another 1-2 minutes, until the greens are wilted (note: the kale will take longer so, if cooking together, make sure it is on the bottom first so it gets most of the heat).

3. Place the greens in a colander to strain the excess water. Use a spatula to press out any additional water.

4. Heat the olive oil and oregano in a saute pan over medium heat until fragrant, about 2 minutes. Pour the onion/garlic puree into the pan and mix with the oil.  Allow to heat over medium until fragrant and slightly carmelized,  6-8 minutes.

5. While the onion mixture cooks, run the spinach, kale, and dill through the food processor until it is a pulp. Set aside.

6. Once fragrant, take about 1/3 of the onion puree (does not have to be exact) and set aside to cool.  Add the pulped greens to the remainder and mix well to combine.  Cook all together for another 3-4 minutes, until spinach is heated as well.

7. While spinach heats, combine cooled onion puree with yogurt and mix well.

8. Once spinach is heated, combine  spinach and yogurt mixture. Enjoy!

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Chocolate Chestnut Pie

Chestnuts and figgy pudding are two of a kind. Everyone sings about them, but no one actually eats them. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride.

Luckily for chestnuts, Thanksgiving at the Kef Household lets them shine once a year--MamaKef has always loved adding chestnuts to her stuffing (though I'm sad to report I have yet to see her roast them over an open fire).  This year, we also threw some chestnuts over our roasted sweet potatoes to a spectacular result.  And this got the Kefwheels turning...

What else can we do with these creamy, delicious treats?

What we have today is a subtle, rich pie that ups the ante and will ensure that chestnuts get more respect than just a passing Carol reference.  A more sophisticated version of a diner chocolate mousse pie, it's sure to please anyone who makes it to your holiday buffet.  It is most definitely not a traditional pie--but I'll bet it comes back year after year, anyway.

Sorry, figgy pudding-- maybe someone will actually eat you next year.

I adapted this recipe, whose pictures are nicer.

Ingredients

     --1 can (15 oz) chestnut puree

     --1 bag (9 oz) unsweetened carob chips (if you want to use chocolate, use dark)

     --1 and 3/4 sticks of butter (room temperature), cut into small pieces 

     -- 2 TBS whiskey, cognac, or dark rum
-------------
 --1 c almond meal
--1/2 c coconut flour
--1/2 c carob powder (or cocoa powder)
-- 1 tsp baking soda
-- 2 eggs, beaten
-- 1/8 c honey or maple syrup (more or less, to taste?
-- 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
-- 3 TBS butter, cu into small pieces and softened to room temp 
--OR baked pie crust of choice (Try this pistachio crust)

Assembly
1. For the crust: if you're using your own crust, assemble and bake as directed. Otherwise, preheat oven to 325.  For the sugar-free, gluten-free cookie crust, combine both flours, carob/cocoa powder, and baking soda. Mix well. Add the wet ingredients except the butter and mix until combined. Then add the butter in small pieces, kneading with your fingers until you have a cohesive dough.

2. Press the dough into a buttered pie pan to form the crust. If you don't need all of the dough, use the extra to make cookies- you can use that for a topping. Use a fork to poke holes all over the crust and bake for 9-10 minutes, or until middle is set. Do not overcook- the dough is very dark so it will be hard to tell that it's burnt! Remove from oven and let cool completely.

3. To make the filling, fill a large sauce pan 2/3 full with water and heat over med-high.  Put the carob chips in a small metal bowl or smaller pot and hold over the heated water (but don't let bottom touch water or chips will burn).  Stir constantly to spread heat evenly.  

4. Once melted,  remove from heat and mix in butter, a piece or two at a time, so that it melts into the mixture.

5. Add chestnut puree and mix until combined.  Add vanilla and liquor. Taste mixture and if desired, add more vanilla to sweeten.

6. Pour mixture into pre-made crust and cool in fridge for at least 4 hours (overnight if you have the time).  Use a spatula to even out the top (which I clearly did not do in the above picture).

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What treats do you look forward to this month?

"One of the secrets of a happy life is continuous small treats." -- Irish Murdoch

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World AIDS Day 2012

It's World AIDS Day. Today, I send out all the love and light in the world to those who fight HIV every day-- the testers and counselors, the patients and researchers, the advocates and the educators.  I just watched the remarkable How to Survive a Plague and was reminded of how far we have come in the fight against this 100% preventable epidemic and how far we still have to go. Washington, DC still has the highest rates of HIV in country. Our women, our poor, our communities of color, and our most marginalized neighbors are still living and fighting this plague -- help them by keeping the conversation going.

All of you--every single one of you--should know your status by getting tested. If you live in DC-- make sure your ANC commissioner, Council member, and mayor know that HIV has got to be a priority in the nation's capitol.  If you don't live here, help the people who make a difference here to continue the important work of educating young people so that one day we will see a generation without AIDS.  

Act Up. Fight Back. Fight AIDS.

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I LIVE For This

Jada Pinkett-Smith, when asked why she let her daughter, Willow, shave her head:

“This subject is old but I have never answered it in its entirety. And even with this post it will remain incomplete. The question why I would LET Willow cut her hair. First the LET must be challenged. This is a world where women, girls are constantly reminded that they don’t belong to themselves; that their bodies are not their own, nor their power, or self determination. I made a promise to endow my little girl with the power to always know that her body, spirit, and her mind are HER domain. Willow cut her hair because her beauty, her value, her worth is not measured by the length of her hair. It’s also a statement that claims that even little girls have the RIGHT to own themselves and should not be a slave to even their mother’s deepest insecurities, hopes, and desires. Even little girls should not be a slave to the preconceived ideas of what a culture believes a little girl should be. More to come. Another day.” 

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I Heart Huxtables

If Clair Huxtable ain't some damn kefi, I don't know what is.

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Words to Live By

"I cannot endure to waste anything so precious as autumnal sunshine by staying in the house."

-Nathaniel Hawthorne

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French 'Cake' Kef

[Chef Kefi Ed Note: JSK could not stop raving--simply RAVING--about this. I did not get a chance to try it GF, so for now it is full o' flour only.  I will try it with GF flour this weekend and let you know how I did.]

The best part about being in Paris is seeing old friends.  And eating with old friends.  My friend FabKef's girlfriend, HeleneKef (who is herself, of course, a friend now too) has made this delicious 'cake' a few times since I've been here, and I die for it every time.  Careful: in French, 'cake' (pronounced as it is in English) means like 'really delicious bread thing' and not 'cake.'  I have not seen one of these without eating like 6 pieces. It's Keftastic.



Ingredients:

• 3 eggs
• 2/3 c flour
• 3/4 tsp baking powder
• just under 1/2 c vegetable oil (sunflower if possible)
• 1/2 c of whole milk, warmed (but not scalded!)
• 1/2c gruyere cheese, grated
• 8 oz goat cheese, cut into small pieces
• 1/4 c walnuts, crushed
• 1/4 c raisins
• 1 pinch of salt
• 1 pinch of pepper

Assembly
1. Preheat oven to 350. Put raisins in cool water to moisten for about 10 minutes. Strain and pat dry with a paper towel.
2. In a mixing bowl, beat together the eggs, the flour and the baking powder.  In a separate small bowl, combine the goat cheese, nuts, and raisins.
3. Gradually add the oil and warm milk to egg mixture. Stir in the gruyere.  Incorporate the already mixed goat cheese, nuts and raisins into the big mix and get everything all mixed up well (you like my translation skills from the French recipie, no?)
4. Put into a non-greased bread pan and cook for 45 minutes.

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Sweet Potato Ricotta Gnocchi with Pumpkin Cream Sauce

Queijo Kef and I will always have Fall.  The birthdays, the pumpkin, the scarves... it's enough to make two working women spend all day emailing each other delicious-looking pumpkin-themed treats. Oh wait...

A few weeks ago, these sweet potato and ricotta gnocchi were the object of our 9-to-5 distraction.  I have always wanted to toss my hat into the ring of gnocchi-building and, cheered by Queijo Kef's enthusiasm, these seemed like the place to start. 

I followed this recipe for the gnocchi themselves, and then doctored up the sauce to include (what else?) PUMPKIN!

And finally--one of the most valuable culinary lessons was bestowed on to me many moons ago when I was just Kefaki, and I shall now bestow it unto you.  The "gn" makes a sound very similar to the "ny" in Kenya-- so this word is pronouned "nyoki." No hard "g." Pass it on.

Sweet Potato Ricotta Gnocchi with Pumpkin Cream Sauce

Ingredients

• 2 lbs sweet potatoes
• 1 egg yolk
• 2/3 cup whole milk ricotta, drained
• 1-1 ½ cups flour (I used all-purpose GF. You do you.), separated into 1/2 c and two 1/4 c portions
• 1/4 tsp grated nutmeg
• 1/2 tsp cinnamon

----

• 1/2 c coconut milk
• 1 c heavy cream
• 1/2 c pureed pumpkin (Libby's is the best, but use whatcha got)
• 2 TBS butter
• 3 TBS flour (I again, I used GF)
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 1.5 tsp cumin
• pepper to taste
• 3/4-1 c gruyere cheese, shredded

---

• kale, washed and shredded. 

Assembly

1. For the gnocchi: Preheat the oven to 425. Bake the sweet potatoes until tender all the way through when poked with a fork, which will take 30-45 minutes depending on the size of the potato. Once done, rip open the skins and dump the hot flesh into a large mixing bowl (this is beginning to sound like an episode of Dexter...). Using a fork, mash the potatoes and move them around so a thin layer forms around the bowl--basically, you just want to avoid having a heap o' potato that will trap the heat and get mushy. Let cool to room temp.

2. Drizzle the yolk, shred the ricotta, and sprinkle 1/2 c flour over the potatoes. Cut them into the potatoes using a spatula.  When combined, add an additional 1/4 c flour and combine (you will probably need to use your hands at this point).  Form the dough into a ball. If dough is not firm (cookie dough consistency), add another 1/4 c flour.

3. From the ball, shape the dough into a compact rectangle and let rest for 5 minutes.

4. Cut log into 8 individual segments. Roll one segment out at a time into 1” thick logs--resist the temptation to do this between your hands and use a cutting board for even rolling. Cut logs into individual pieces, about 1”. It will begin to look like this:

5. Cut your logs into individual gnocchi pieces and place them on a baking sheet. Refrigerate if you're not going to make sauce and cook gnocchi right away. You will have about 60 pieces--whatever is left you can freeze (first on a baking sheet to avoid sticking together, then in a freezer bag)  and cook later easily!

For the sauce:
1. Combine coconut milk, cream, and pumpkin. Heat over medium heat until warm--be careful not to let it scald or boil. Set aside.
2. Melt butter over medium heat. Add flour and salt, whisk together. It will get clumpy.
3. Add the heated pumpkin mixture. Whisk constantly until sauce thickens, 3-4 minutes.
4. Remove from heat. Add spices and cheese. Whisk to combine.  Set aside, stirring occasionally to avoid the formation of sauce skin (if you've ever seen it... you know what I mean).

To combine:
1. Bring a large pot of water to boil.  Add gnocchi.  Allow to cook 2-3 minutes. They are done when they float to the top (it is awesome!).
2. While gnocchi cook, place shredded kale on plate. 
3. When gnocchi are finished, pull them out of the boiling water with a slotted spoon to strain. Place directly on kale. Add desired amount of sauce. Serve immediately.

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Love is, Actually, All Around

The First Family remains a shining example of what happens when enduring love, fiery passion, and true partnership rule the roost

... and more importantly:

Wisconsin elects the nation's first openly-gay Senator

Hawaii sends the first Japanese-American woman to the Senate, and she will join a Congress with a record number of women members


AND FINALLY....

Maryland, Maine, Minnesota, and Washington become the four newest states to recognize justice, equity under the law, and a more inclusive understanding of love!

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5 a.m. Musings

Understand, I'll slip quietly
Away from the noisy crowd
When I see the pale
Stars rising, blooming over the oaks.
I'll pursue solitary pathways
Through the pale twilit meadows,
With only this one dream:
You come too.
---From "First Poems," Rainer Maria Rilke

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In case you still don't know what kefi means...

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Maple Apple Frangipane

The windows are open, autumnal sunshine is pouring into my kitchen, and the sound of the Howard Homecoming is echoing down the block--the perfect day to put freshly-picked apples to use!

In the beginning of September, I messed around with this thing called frangipane and the results were underwhelming.  I swore not to be outdone by the French and their delicacies (NB: yes, the word "frangipane" is clearly Italian, but Wikipedia tells me it used to be "franchipane," which is apparently French... so I can still blame the fussiness of this almond filling on the French! Sorry, Sarkozypoo!) and I have finally circled back around to conquer this beast.

And conquer it I have.

Let's back up. Earlier this month, I met CousinKef and BabyKef for some fun fall activities that resulted in about 20 lbs of apples sitting in my kitchen waiting to be transformed into autumnal treats.

Why, yes, that IS what 19.3 lbs of apples look like!

Flash forward about two weeks, and we're in spinning class on a beautiful Saturday morning (why I didn't just ride my damn bike in this gorgeous weather is neither here nor there).  The way-too-peppy-for-8am instructor is talking some mess about how good the burn feels when it hits me: I am going to apple-ize the frangi-whatever and it is going to be delicious.

The result was amazing! This may be the creation I am most proud of since I made those out-of-this-word pork chops. There are three components, but none is particularly time consuming. I simplified the process by using a pre-mixed gluten-free pie crust (it is not a pie crust mix, per se, as you still have to add several ingredients--it just pre-combines all the weird flours you have to buy for $8.99/cup into one $3.69 mix and is enough for two pies. Awesome.)

I came, I saw, I frangipaned.  You're welcome.

Apple Frangipane With Maple Glaze
Ingredients

• Pie crust of your choice. I used the Glutino Gluten-Free Pantry Perfect Pie Crust Mix (which requires you to add baking powder, egg, butter, shortening, water, and vinegar). You can do whatever you'd like).
  ---
• 2 c almond flour/meal
• 2 TBS liquor of choice--dark rum or cognac would be good, I used Godiva chocolate liquor because THAT is what your girl keeps around for emergencies, apparently
• 1 stick of butter, cold and cut into TBS portions
• zest of 1 lemon
• juice of 1/2 lemon
• 1/3-1/2c honey
  ---
• 1 large or 2 small sweet apples, peeled and sliced thinly
• 2 TBS butter, melted
• 6 TBS maple syrup (the 100% real stuff--please do not let me find you using IHOP brand or some crap like that.)
• 1 tsp cinnamon
  
  

Assembly  
1. Preheat oven to 425. Whatever pie crust you are using should be cold, so if you made it yourself, put it in a pie or tart pan and let chill in freezer. Once it has chilled for about 20 minutes, poke fork holes all over it and cover the tips with either a wreath of tin foil or a pie-crust shield. Cook until crust is just turning golden brown, which will depend on the crust but will probably take about 12-15 minutes. Set aside to cool. Reduce oven heat to 375.
2. Combine almond flour, liquor, lemon zest, lemon juice, and honey (start with 1/3 c honey and proceed to step 3. If at the end of step 3 the frangipane is not sweet enough for you, add honey and mix until you like the taste.)  A food processor or blender would be easiest, but if you do not have one then stirring vigorously will be just fine. 
3. Cut in the butter one TBS at a time until a thick, gooey paste has formed--again, I did this in my food processor and it took about 1 minute, but you can do it the old-fashioned way with a pastry blender or potato masher. (If you want to add more honey, now is the time.) Set aside.
4. To make the glaze, mix together melted butter, maple syrup, and cinnamon. Put thinly-sliced apples in a bowl and toss with maple glaze. 
5. Place the frangipane (almond mix) in the cooled pie crust and level off with a rubber spatula.  Arrange soaked apple slices however you would like on top in a single layer. Pour remaining maple glaze evenly over the tart. You will probably have a few gooey apple slices left over--eat them!
6. Cook tart until center is firm to touch, it took my little oven about 40 minutes--just start checking around 30 minutes or so. Let cool, enjoy! For added sweetness, whip up a half batch of maple glaze and drizzle a few drops on pieces immediately before serving.

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Cauliflower, Carmelized Onions, Squash, and Cheese Casserole

Last week my unit had a comfort-food potluck. I had two heads of cauliflower in the fridge and figured I'd see what ye olde interwebs said about cauliflower and comfort.

Turns out, if you throw cauliflower in a pan with some caramelized onions, roasted butternut squash, and a whole lotta cheese, it becomes quite delicious. AND makes for a pretty nice picture, thank you very much.

I followed this recipe exactly (except I substituted chives for rosemary), so I won't bother to reproduce here-- enjoy!
 

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Eggplant "Keftedes"

Hello to my loyal readers (loyal enough to remember me, since yesterday was my first post in 11 months)-

My apologies for my absence, but I have been busy with some other things.  Notably, things like this traditional Greek-abandoned-train dance I'm demonstrating below.

In case you have been reading this blog and thinking, "Gosh, they keep posting these damn recipes I can make myself and ALL I WANT ARE SOME REVIEWS OF GREEK RESTAURANTS IN PARIS," I bring good news: L'Olivier, which I mentioned last year, has completely redone the interior and also has received a Michelin star.  Boo-ya-ka-sha.  

I have also found new exciting and not-too-stuffy Parisian places that we'll have to talk about another time, although those who know me will be stunned to learn that they're all rive droite (horror!).  But they're all reaaaaly fun and realllly good:

• Jaja 
• le taxi jaune--specialist in horse meat, which sadly my soon-to-be-30 diet prevented me from having (because who doesn't say "I'm going to be 30 in a year and therefore I will abstain from eating Mr. Ed?), but the fish and ratatouille were also awesome
• Autour d'un verre, which is really Brooklyn, except for (1) the menu that is only on the chalkboard (ChefKefi, RN editor note--please excuse my brother who has lived out of the country for a decade and does not realize that this is what EVERY restaurant in Brooklyn did four years ago/still does), (2) no one's speaking English, and (3)  THE WINE.  Amazing wines, all chosen by the waiters when you describe what you want.  And all the wines are 'new' French
• And, finally, Au Coin Bio, which is perfect for a Sunday brunch if you're walking through the Marais and want to eat at makeshift tables in an outdoor market

(ChefKefi, RN editor note: THANK THE LORD that now when people google "gluten-free pumpkin recipes with Parisian restaurant reviews, my blog will come up first!)

Ok, so onto the food. Keftedes are great Greek meatballs.  If you're Greek-American and a bit health conscious, however, you make them vegetarian. And if you're Greek-American, health-conscious and a bit creative, you bake them as a casserole rather than frying them. And then they look like this:

The 2nd full dish from the left.

They are a little labor intensive but so worth it. Best if made the night before so the flavor comes together.

JetSet Kef's Keftedes

 

Ingredients:

• 2 large eggplants
• 2.5 tomatoes
• 1 Red pepper
• 1 Green pepper
• 2 cloves garlic
• 2 tbsp fresh basil or spearmint, finely chopped
• 2 sweet onions
• 2 tbsp white vinegar
• 1 egg
• 2 tbsp parsley, finely chopped
• 150(ish)g good feta cheese
• 1c flour
• 1 tsp baking powder
• Salt and pepper
• Olive oil

Assembly

1a (do in parallel with steps 1b and 1c). Peel the eggplant and soak in salted water for 30 mins. Grate or dice very finely.  Then you need to get all the water out of the eggplant.  This part is fundamentally not fun.  The best thing to do is put a few tablespoons of eggplant into a potato ricer at a time and squeeze all the water out.  (You can only do a few tablespoons at a time, though -- don't go crazy otherwise you won't get the water out.  And getting the water out of the eggplants and the tomatoes is one of the tricks here.)  By the way, if you don't have a potato ricer, get one.  Game changer.  Also if you don't have a potato ricer, you can squeeze the water out bit by bit with your hands (if you have 4 hours).

1b. Peel the tomatoes.  Then cut into quarters and squeeze them like lemons to get rid of the seeds and a lot of the water.  Then dice them. Now put a paper towel into into a sieve and put the tomatoes on top of them.  Add some salt to the tomatoes and let them sit for a least an hour while you're getting other things ready.  When it's done, the tomatoes should be much drier and should peel away from the paper towel pretty easily.

1c. Dice the peppers, onions, garlic and herbs. Everything should be nice and small otherwise you will be eating baked wannabe-ratatouille

2. Place the eggplant and the tomatoes into a large bowl and all the peppers, herbs, garlic, egg, vinegar, baking powder and salt and pepper. (NB: you only need red peppers to add some color to the final product ... otherwise it comes out a not-so-appetizing brown-ish grey.  If you really hate red peppers and you like brown food, feel free to skip them).  Stir gently; add the cheese and the flour.  Add the flour slowly -- you don't want these to get too floury.  As you add it, you can test the consistency by putting a bunch onto a teaspoon; if it slides off, it's too watery, and if it sticks, it's too dry.  You want it to be like thick honey:

Even JetSet Kef gets a sous chef sometimes--meet Khalid Kef!

3. Put all of this into an olive oiled baking pan and cook for 30+ minutes on 350.  Let it cool and serve.  You'll know it's done when there's not water cooking up on the sides anymore (another reason why you really need to get the water out of the tomato and the eggplant before you start cooking).  The cheese should have melted and it should be nicely warm all the way through.  It often takes a good 45+ minutes for me -- so just make sure to start monitoring it after 30 mins.

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Return of the JetSet Kef

Big Brother Kef is back in town. Usually it is my dear sister who does the dirty work in the kitchen while I keep the water boiling as the Executive Sous Chef of Keftown (see here for more on that).  But, inspired by the post-DNC 2012 "Clinton bump," she's decided to call in the old dogs to teach some new tricks.  During her tenure, two very prominent themes have emerged:

• dishes are meatless
• photos of said meatless dishes range from unappetizing to "...oh, I see how that might actually taste good if that were a better picture." (I love my sister and her food--but seriously, she really could have benefited from the photography class all the "artsy" kids in our high school took junior year.)

So after months of hiatus from this blog, it is with great pleasure that I break one of these trends and bring you today a great MEAT recipe I promise you will come out beautifully...except you'll have to make do with a truly non-illustrative picture in typical CUK style.  I assume by now you are used to this. LebKef and I made this dish together for Greek Easter 2012 in Beirut and it was a show stopper.  Look closely at the picture below and you will find this perfectly-prepared lamb in between lots of other wonderfully-made dishes:

Still don't think this lamb will be the best thing you put in your mouth this week? Ask yourself this: would a man who willingly dresses like this

ever steer you wrong when it comes to some lamb? I don't think so.


LebKef's Lamb Chop

Ingredients

• 3 tbs Dijon Mustard
• 6 tbs Balsamic Vinegar
• 2 medium cloves of garlic
• 1 c extra-virgin olive oil
• kosher salt (to taste)
• ground black pepper (to taste)
• 3 sprigs rosemary
• 1 double rack lamb rib chops, or 8 lamb loin chops

Assembly  

1. FOR THE VINAIGRETTE: Combine Dijon, balsamic vinegar, and garlic in non reactive metal bowl. Whisk in extra virgin olive oil. Remove rosemary needles from sprig. Chop and add to vinaigrette. Season with salt and pepper.

 2. Cut lamb into individual chops by cutting down between the bones (each bone should have a nice round piece of meat attached).In plastic bag with half of the marinade, marinade for 10 minutes (or up to 2 hours in the refrigerator). Reserve half of marinade for finishing chops with sauce for serving.

3. Heat a gas or charcoal grill to medium to high heat.Remove chops from marinade. Wipe off excess liquid and season chops with salt and pepper.

4. Grill chops for 2 to 3 minutes per side (or until meat is medium rare).

5. Remove chops from grill and allow to rest for 5 minutes. Serve lamb chops with reserved marinade.

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Same Love

I just love this sweet little video sent around by the good people at Upworthiest (actually--I don't know if they're good people, I just know that they put together one helluva great library of progressive videos with which I fill my rainy days off!)-- it speaks for itself, so I won't bother trying to add. Get out the tissues and remember that today is the LAST DAY to register to vote in many states!

 

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Berry Sangria

Once upon a time, when it was fall, someone's birthday, and someone's turn to go study abroad, we made sangria in 25 liter batches. Yes, you read that correctly.

These days, birthdays are not the excuse for debauchery they once were (and my liver thanks you for that, Lord!), but they still make an excellent occasion for some sangria. In general, I find restaurant-made sangria too sweet (and if you're drinking the pre-made Sutter Home stuff, please check yo'self) so I endeavored to make my own with all the flavor, but not so much sweetness. Enjoy!

Grown Up Berry Sangria Fit for a Birthday (but not a Rubbermaid Vat)

Ingredients

• 750 mL berry vodka (I used Ciroc)
• 1 bottle Sweet Red wine (I used Barefoot--it does not need to be a medal winner)
• 1 juggo red wine (don't pretend not to know EXACTLY what size bottle I'm describing) of a sweetish variety (shiraz is easy found and affordable)
• 1 pint of strawberries, sliced thin
• teensy bit of honey 
• 1/8 cup water

Assembly
1. Put sliced strawberries in a heavy-bottomed sauce pan and drizzle (seriously, people--not a lot) honey over. Let sit in the pan (no heat yet) if you have time for about 15 minutes--apparently sugar brings out the juices and flavor of berries.
2. Add the water and bring to a simmer. Stir occasionally and let this simmer for 12-15 minutes, until berries take on a stewy consistency. Remove from heat, let cool.
3. With a bowl under a strainer, separate what solid fruit is left from the juice--yes, some of it looks like goop. That is right.
4. Put the solid parts of your berry stew (even the goopity-goop) in the bottom of your containers. Mix together your berry juice, vodka, and wine, and add to the berry stew in the containers. Chill and enjoy!

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